Why Everyone needs to STFU About Their Relationship Status (and mine too)

I get it. I write a blog about dating…. Which means I’m SINGLE. I’m also a daughter, a sister, a best friend, a Virgo…. The list goes on and on. One word doesn’t define me, and I don’t think it defines you. How boring. 

I’m sick of the lame ideology that being in a relationship elevates your status.  I’m tired of scrolling through Facebook and girls showing off their engagement rings and boyfriends like this season’s new Prada. You’re not suddenly a whole person because you now stay home and watch House of Cards on Saturday night with someone who has XY chromosomes. You were always a whole person, even when you were at a bar slamming back G&Ts three months ago on girls’ night.  I probably liked you a lot more then, when you didn’t pretend to like baseball and recount stories in which you and your boy called each other babe a thousand times. 

I have friends who I don’t speak to every day, and it never fails, when I get a text every couple weeks, the following questions come up first: 

“Are you dating anyone?”

“How was your date last week with that one guy??”

“I saw Ben liked your new profile pic on FB, are you guys hanging out?”

Ugh. There are a lot more interesting things going on in my life than what is happening with the men who are or aren’t in it. My answers are always the same: 

“No.”

“Which guy? Refresh my memory? That was like three weeks ago… The guy with the beard? Vegas Guy? The guy who didn’t drink? The guy with a teenager? No? Who are you talking about?”

“Ewwww… No!”

Do I sound bitter? Maybe, but I’m bored talking about your boyfriend or my boyfriend or that Stacy and Chad broke up. It’s the same convo time and time again with just different characters. If we’re catching up I’d rather talk about the class I’m taking, my weekend road trip, my summer vacation plans, the book I’m reading, the new project I’m heading up at work, my niece. There are a lot more interesting things going on other than who I am or am not sleeping with. 

I’m happy you found a guy you really like. I truly am; I’m optimistic it’ll work out. I don’t want to be watching you eat gallons of Ben and Jerry’s washed down with a bottle of Cab in two months when Rob dumps you for the chick he met on his Tinder account he never deleted. Promise.  

I also want to hear about your promotion at work, the new spin class you started taking, and how your sister is being a bitch because she thinks you stole her green sweater… All of that is far more interesting than hearing about how you made Rob a turkey sandwich Thursday and he said, “Babe, you know I love how you make sandwiches!”  Yawn.  In all reality, no one, not even Rob, gives a f*ck about your sandwiches. 

Not every girl does this, I have best friends who are still the fascinating, multi-faceted women I have always loved, betrothed or not. My sister is just a few months away from her wedding, and yet we have lots of other things to talk about. Thank you for still being the humans I have always connected to. Thank you for not becoming “Stepford”.  

XOXO, 

Piper 💋

  

Piper

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