How Not to Lose a Guy

If you’re a single gal like me, you probably see lots of advertisements on your social media about how to “catch” and keep the man of your dreams.  If you’re anything like me, you may or may not have given into clicking on these pages and finding yourself on their email list. 

I think I stay on their mailing lists because I thoroughly enjoy reading their emails and instantly getting pissed off. Now, besides the point their grammar and sentence structure are atrocious, the way they depict women is highly offensive to me. If you read these often, you’ll become a paranoid mess. I don’t care how confident or well adjusted you are. These “newsletters” will make you feel like you’re a complete idiot when it comes to men and you need to change everything about yourself to get a “good” man. 

You post too much on social media, you share too much about yourself, you talk too much, you don’t talk enough. You’re too clingy, you’re not emotionally available. You need therapy (just don’t talk about your therapy). You had sex too soon, you friend zoned him because you didn’t sleep with him in the “magic window”… My head is spinning just from typing that, and honest to God, those are all articles I’ve read. Here’s the deal, if there is some magic formula for getting a man, I don’t want one. 

I want to be with someone who loves me because I talk too much, because I don’t believe in a magic number of dates. I want to be with someone who doesn’t care I have horrible taste in reality TV shows. I want someone who likes my quirks and my personality. I don’t want a man who is looking for a Stepford wife, because I can never be her. I’m not a formula kind of girl. I’m a wreck.  I’m moody, I’m a smart ass, I swear too often, and I’m clumsy. I’m a tough nut to crack, you’ll never know what I’m thinking. As soon as you think I’m going to turn left, I swerve right. I’m frustrating, infuriating even. I’m always on some crazy diet, and I’m always going to probably rock an extra 10 lbs. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m real. What you see is what you get, and if I’m with you, it’s because I like YOU.  That’s it. Pretty simple. 

Stop telling me to be someone I’m not. I’m going to post my dating blogs on my Facebook page and Thought Catalog, because they’re worth posting. I’m going to say fuck, because sometimes there isn’t another word that goes as well. I’m still going to drink too much on the rare occasion and stumble and fall. I’m going to keep rocking my fake eyelashes and contouring my face because I like make-up. I know I don’t need it. I know I’m beautiful either way. 

Let me be.  I know I’m going to meet someone who loves me, not in spite of all my flaws but because of them. You are too… 

XOXO, 

Piper 💋

Piper

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