Selfish and Self Aware

Hey Loves!

 

Sorry for the long delay in posting! I finally got to spend some real quality time with my family and friends after the holidays. I also moved my life across country for work. You think you’re comfortable with solitude, trying driving across the state of Wyoming solo. That is a whole blog on its own! Just when things started to settle a bit I came down with a case of walking pneumonia. If you’ve ever had it, God bless you! You’ll also understand that all I’ve done is cough, watch Bravo and sleep. I’m so glad to be back to posting! Between driving 1500 miles and laying in bed, I feel like I have tons to talk about.

 

Over the last few weeks I’ve decided that I’m really terrible at relationships. It’s like I’ve gotten so comfortable with my singleness that when there is a prospect I really don’t know what to do. I either under communicate or I over communicate. I’m also a classic over thinker. We all have challenges, and these are some of mine. I working on it!

 

I’ve also come to the realization that being in even a casual relationship is a shit ton of work and requires so much energy. When you’re single you only worry about yourself. I only think about what Layla wants, how Layla is feeling. Thinking about someone else is hard. Years of singleness, living alone and solo travel have made me selfish. I’m still processing through that. Obviously I don’t want to be alone forever. I want to love a man with passion and gusto. And I want to be able to accept that sort of love too. But, am I standing in my own way? Can I move past my own selfishness? Lots to think about and work on in 2016!

Layla

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