I love Nate Bagley and his podcast “The Loveumentry”. Nate is bat shit, balls to the wall, passionately crazy about love. He has travelled around the United States and interviewed couples about their relationships and it is fascinating to me. Nate recently spoke at TEDxSaltLakeCity about his experience. Please watch it. I might be committing a crime sharing it. But it’s worth the risk. Plus maybe Nate will call me and ask me to take it down and then I’ll have the opportunity to convince him I’m the woman he’s been searching for. I mean, a girl can dream!
The last couple Nate talks about is Ty and Terri Schenzel. I was lucky enough to know them and witness the love they shared. Their lives tragically ended recently when they were killed in a car crash, together. As heavy a loss their lives are, they left behind a legacy of deep love. An example that it’s possible.
I grew up in a home with parents who tolerated each other. They coexisted in the same household, shared a bank account and sometimes a bed. From my perspective they lacked lust, enthusiasm and joy for one another. I know they loved each other, but I desire something more.
Now, I know that a long term relationship won’t always be deep kisses pinned against a wall, dancing in the rain and long romantic talks. I’m too much a realist to believe that. I know it takes conflict, hard work and a dedication to dig in when you want to run. But, I do believe there can still be hugely epic love. I believe it because I’ve seen it, I saw it in Ty and Terri. In this generation of swiping left and swiping right, of texting and coffee dates, I choose to still believe. And why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I hold out for a love that changes you? I believe I am capable of loving a man that deeply, that for the right person I won’t be afraid to be the one who loves the most. I want to be in a relationship that is a mad race for who can out love the other. Please, for the love of God, someone challenge me to a love-off, I want to win!
So, in my search for epic love I’ll keep willing myself to sit through awkward first dates, the “what do you do for fun?” convo and first kisses. Because in my jaded, scarred and battered heart still beats a desire to love a man in a way that at the end of his life he will be able to say I was his greatest earthly blessing and that I made him better, because that is how I want to love a man.